J.J.’s Jesting Parables #2: Parable of the Mob

Hello, lovely ladies and classy gents! I present to you the second jesting parable in my series, “J.J’s Jesting Parables.” There is an 82% chance you will roll your eyes or grunt by the parable’s end. I hope you will glean something from it (forewarning: you will glean nothing).

Parable of the Mob

Antonio the mob boss and his underling Giuseppe were conducting a rendezvous in a dark alley. There was money to be exchanged in this meeting.

In breathy whisper, the boss, Antonio, asked, “Where’s my cut?”

The underling, Giuseppe, plunged his hands into his pockets and sifted around. His hands emerged from his pockets empty. He looked surprised. “I don’t know, boss.”

“You don’t know?” Antonio demanded, face reddening like a Jersey tomato. He stepped into the underling, furious. “What did you come here for if you had nuthin? What are you, breakin my balls?”

Giuseppe rammed his knee into Antonio’s groin and turned on his heel. As he ran away from the crumpling mob boss, he shouted, “Thanks for the idea!”

Giuseppe boarded the first train out of Jersey, hoping he’d never see Antonio or smell the state ever again.

*cue Godfather theme*

J.J. Azar

J.J.’s Jesting Parables #1: Parable of the Rabbit

Hello, lovely ladies and classy gents! Here is the first piece in a series of jesting parables penned by yours truly.

These are intended to be the bouncing pectoral muscles of the Herculean body that is this blog. In other words, they’re all in good fun. I guarantee that the parables will yank out an eye-roll, a chuckle, or a grunt. At least one of those. So enjoy! And if you have a thought you’d like to share, drop a comment below! I promise to say hello right back.

Hops: Parable of the Rabbit

The rabbit hopped from the field to the street, where the men lived.

A man on the street noticed the rabbit hopping along and said, “You got hops, little man!”

The rabbit looked to the man and muttered, “Thanks.”

Then he hopped back to his field, ears drooping.

The next day, the rabbit returned to the man and asked, “You got hops, boss?”

The rabbit drank until he puked.

credit: Tom Smith

J.J. Azar